Some Things about New York

7 Nov


G.K Chesterton wrote, “The whole object of travel is not to set foot on foreign land; it is at last to set foot on one’s own country as a foreign land.” And all in all, that’s a pretty sweet quote cribbed by me from the Barnes and Noble Cafe wall.

This is my fifth time in NYC. I’m kind of used to it, but there are still things I’m reminded of each time I wander down a street or watch people blithely walk by just-the-cutest-squirrel-in-the-world-with-his-dancing-furry-tail-and-scaredy-cat-face. You want to spot a tourist in NYC? They’ll be standing next to me applauding a rodent.

Some things about New York…

One of us

In NYC, people scream at each other as a way of saying I love you. This takes some time to get used to. In many a Dunkin Donut, my fight or flight genes (well, flight or flight faster genes) have been ignited by some guy wandering in and barking a stream of seeming hostility at the poor counter dude. My ears hear, fuck you puerto rican scumbag,  they apparently hear, one donut please good sir. I edge towards the exit, but cash and food is cleanly exchanged and happy customers wander out on to the upper west side to scream on their phones and honk their horns.


Not the sandwich shop, the transit system, though the sandwiches are pretty sweet too. The subway is….awesomest. Gone is the Melbourne bred timetable obsession. No fear that if you miss that 10.23 to Parliament you won’t snare another train until, I dunno, Tuesday.  Here, you stroll onto whatever platform and some train comes along and takes you to some other platform lickety split.

Best of all about the subway is New Yorkers know how to do the kinetic dance of mass migration. Having some dude’s crotch in your Best Short Stories of 2009 Anthology is just the way it is and everyone adjusts with assertive courtesy – most sublime of all is the way all passengers are allowed to alight before anyone makes a mad dash for a seat. To do otherwise is to risk a carriage full of judgment. The only exception to this is mid-town.


Roughly talking, it’s 35th to 55th streets. The theatre district. Broadway.*

This is where all the stupid people on Earth  gather to point at buildings and stare at  lights. It’s horrible.

*Some theatre performed here.

Snow makes everything okay

To an aussie, snow on a city is..well..magical. There hasn’t been snow this time and I’ve missed it. Too early in the season, but still… Last time I was here, there was a light snow fall that was just about the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen. Everything slows down and even the ugliest borough has  a good hair day.

It was one of the few times I sensed what it must be like to see something like the ocean for the first time. New Yorkers don’t seem to get all gooey about snow. It’s just cold stuff that will eventually turn into brown liquid – the same way oceans have rips and big ass sharks.

Yellow Food

The reason I’m not sleeping. After hooking in to another pile of deep-fried midnight breakfast joy, subsequent belly rumblings have me witnessing the first hour of the Dunkin Donuts day just across 148th. It opens at 5am and shuts at 11pm. At some point on this trip I realized I was eating to the point of nausea…and then pushing through it. Steamed vegetables are considered highly optional here.


Some other things around New York….

* The up above mid-town pic as a screen cap from a new U.S TV mini-series “The Walking Dead.” It follows a band of survivors as they struggle to stay safe amidst a *zombie apocalypse* Jizz.


One Response to “Some Things about New York”

  1. Emilie Collyer November 9, 2010 at 9:19 am #

    Funny! True! Laughed out loud a lot at this. So yeah, fuck you skippy scum bag 🙂

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